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I have hsv 1 and 2. Not sure if both are on the genitals since i have never had a cold sore and i never gotten a viral culture done on a sore. I had someone over for the night. I mention to him i didn't want to have sex but in the morning he tried really hard to turn me on. He wanted to masturbate me so i let him. I am human, he had turn me on even though i told him no a multiple times. I didn't think any harm would come out of it if he just touched me a little bit. He says he washed his hands a couple of minutes after but i do not know if he touched himself or anywhere in the mean time prior washing his hands. The thing is when i got at work i noticed 2 hours later i had a couple of vesicules forming. I do not know if they were there in the morning or not. It didn't hurt when he was touching me but it did start to hurt after noticing the sores. I felt like something was going on an hour after this morning accident. What are the chances/ likelyhood that i transmitted my herpes to him? Should i worry? Like i said im not sure what he did prior washing his hands. Might of touch his boxers or his penis. I don't know.


Thanks for writing.

The short answer is: No, you shouldn’t worry. From the encounter you describe it sounds unlikely you would have passed herpes to your partner.

The longer answer is: Genital herpes is not generally transmitted to hands. Herpes prefers the tissues around the mouth and genitals, and we do not see herpes on transferred to people’s hands.

If your partner touched their genitals to your genitals, or their mouth to you genitals, then herpes can be passed that way. We call that direct skin-to-skin contact. Herpes is not passed through in-direct contact (ie. hands, towels, etc.)

It’s very possible that the touching you received from your partner triggered the vesicles to appear. However, this doesn’t mean that you passed herpes to your partner.

Lastly, I wanted to acknowledge that it can be difficult for many people to navigate sexual consent. It’s great to hear you were communicating with your partner about  your sexual needs, and not wanting to have sex. I’m sorry to hear that there was pressure on you to do more. You are entitled to your own body and your own boundaries. Sometimes pressure to have sex is called “coercive sex”. If you want any more information about these issues, check out these links:

Hope this helps. Please let us know if this answers your question, or if you need any more information.

Health Nurse

This answer was posted on November 15, 2018

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